How to Kill a Long Island Loud Mouth
by Rissa Havoc
Summary: He's annoyed for the last time, its time for him to die


_**How to Kill a Long Island Loud Mouth**_

**_Disclaimer: _**all characters do not belong to me, they are property of World Wrestling Entertainment. Hell if I could own them I would be a happy Manda!

How they all wound up in a house together no one will ever know, but they did. Jack, Heath, Jay, Phil, Evan … and him. The annoying, the loud, the king of all the douche bags that could possibly reign in this world. His name is Zack Ryder and all he did was take cheap shots at everyone in spite of the fact that he couldn't actually win a match to save his life, but don't you dare lose a match because he was the first to say something about it. Today, Zack's target was none other than Evan Bourne…

"I knew .. I had money on the fact that there was no way, absolutely no way that you could win over Jericho two nights in a row. C'mon bro its Chris Fucking Jericho! I mean that giant ape of a man you call a boyfriend," Zack yelled out obnoxiously as he pointed over to Swagger, making the former world champion clench his fist in a bit of anger. Jay on the other hand was glaring at the loud mouth as he continued to speak, not about the whole you lost thing, oh no more about the fact that he yet again remind him that Swagger was fucking Evan senseless each and every night.

Phil and Heath sat off on another couch as Heath leaned over and whispered to a disinterested Phil, "So how long will he continue with this?" Phil rolled his eyes and shook his head and got up and walked away, muttering something about planning on getting some sleep.

As Phil walked right by the annoying man, he managed to elbow the moron on the back of the head, "You really need to learn how to shut up every once in a while, or is it your intention for us to kill you?"

Silence swept over the room, as each and everyone watch as Phil made his way up the steps, as he reached the top Zack turned to face the other men still in the room. "He's talking crazy why would you guys want to even kill me, I'm da best roomie you guys could ask for … Woo Woo Woo … you know it!"

Heath rolled his eyes and got up to head to the steps and glared at Zack, "you know the more you say that around me the less I wanna kill Skip for Yep yep yep wat it do." Jay, Jack and Evan all chuckled softly as each of them followed Heath up the stairs to their respective rooms.

*later that evening*

Phil awoke with an unsettling feeling of being watched, his eyes blinked open as he laid in his bed that was surrounded by 4 other men. Its dark so he really couldn't make out who was in his room, hell for all he knew 4 mystery men could have broken in and killed everyone.

"So Phil, you mentioned killing Ryder," a voice spoke, Jay to be more accurate spoke softly. The Straight Edge Savior merely chuckled and sat up in his bed and shook his head.

"So to free us of this annoying prick, we are going to resort to murder and lies?"

"Doesn't go against being straight edge does it," this time Evan spoke darkly, a side no one has ever seen to Evan.

"I mean you can't say that you haven't thought of it, since you are the one who mentioned it before you came up to your room," Heath stated in a matter-of-factly sort of tone.

"And its not like anyone will really miss him, I mean who would miss someone so annoying," Swagger mentioned.

"And we will finally have some peace in this house," They all yelled out in unison.

Phil chuckled and nodded slowly with a smirk on his face, "so all of you want to go through with this? You all want to be rid of this annoying moron? And here I though you all were complete and total morons, lets meet in the morning to get the plan together, no later than 11 am. That's when he is usually first getting up."

* * *

A/N: It was not my intention to post this fic under this user name but my other user name, MissMandaDiesel. Heck I don't know if I will be using this one for much longer. Its not gonna be a murder mystery but more like a plan that might or might not work out too well, stay tuned and don't expect it to stay too long on this account. Love Ya Peeps, Manda


End file.
